Freedom is only 2 steps away
“It’s not by chance, it’s by change” Jim Rohn
Making New Year resolution reflects a profound desire for change. This ability to create a different future is a vital necessity: It is a tangible way to exercise our freedom.
Alas, without a clear method, quitting is tempting. So tempting, that for 90% of people, New Year resolutions do not survive Jan 19, dubbed “Quitter’s Day”. It means that for a majority, taking resolutions will bring the opposite of freedom: feeling helpless, hence depreciating self-esteem and confidence.
We certainly all have every good reason to quit our resolutions, when we only have a few ways to stick to them. Actually, we may have even only one: rather than focusing on big goals, we should maybe start with getting rid of our non-priorities.
I would suggest a 2-step way to go back on track with your resolutions:
1st step: Acknowledge that your secondary objectives are the roadblocks to reach your top priorities.
2nd step: create a supporting environment that fuels your desire to go on.
1st step: get rid of your non-priorities.
Steve Jobs and Warren Buffet explained to those who asked for their advice the following: Having too many objectives prevents you from reaching them. Steve Jobs told to Nike CEO: « just get rid of the crappy stuff and focus on the good stuff ». Same for your objectives: just get rid of what is non- vital.
“ I’m actually as proud of the things we haven’t done as the things I have done. Innovation is saying ‘no’ to 1,000 things.” Steve Jobs
In other words, it is because I said no to 1000 secondary things, that I could achieve a few excellent things.
Warren Buffet is even more explicit. He said once to his private pilot:“The fact that you’re still working for me, tells me I’m not doing my job. You should be out going after more of your goals and dreams.”Therefore, he asked his pilot to start listing the 25 dreams of his life. Then, he asked him to circle the top 5 of the list and to outline some action plan to make them happen. “And what about the remaining 20, should I work on them in and out?”
Here gives Warren Buffet his key lesson: “No. You’ve got it wrong. Everything you didn’t circle just became your ‘avoid at all cost list’. No matter what, these things get no attention from you until you’ve succeeded with your top 5.”
We are obviously neither Warren Buffet, nor Steve Job. However, we all are facing choices, making priorities. It might be not that difficult to circle 3 priorities among 10 projects. However, it is very difficult to stop giving any attention to the 7 remaining topics.
Unless you acknowledge that those 7 tempting projects are your enemies, the singing sirens that will distract you from reaching your top 3 priorities: to consider them as our ‘avoid at all cost list’.
Choosing is actually renouncing. As long as you have not renounced, you have not really chosen. Instead of resolutions, make decisions. Simple decisions, but irrevocable. Irrevocable because they are simple.
I noticed several times how saying no to something actually made my life richer, and I will develop this another day.
2nd step: create a supporting environment that fuels your desire to keep on.
Instead of setting big goal, decide a simple rule, that will become your default decision-making system.
Let’s take examples: if you want to lose weight, instead of discipline yourself to a strict diet, or to additional physical training, you can instead decide that you will stop eating bread, or to never take a second portion of a plate. It is a simple decision that you can apply every day. Instead of take gym lessons, you can simply decide that you will never take an elevator. If you walk every day, if you climb stairs every day, if you never take a second serving, you will gradually turn your fat into muscle.
This is exactly what Amy Cuddy explains in Presence, when she tells her difficulty to start running. She replaced her big goal with the simple habit of putting her running shoes on and go outside every day.
To strengthen your routine, track your progress and celebrate small victories. Ideally, you can have a daily logbook, just by ticking your calendar every time you stick to your decision, to anchor your new habit. Then, celebrate the first 7 ticks, then the 30, and so on with the 6 and the 12 weeks.
If you write down your positive results every day, the pleasure of seeing your growth will create an addiction that will strengthen your decision. Never consider a battle lost as the end of the war. Nobody’s perfect, and looking for perfection is a good way to get unhappy.
Moreover, set up a supportive environment: our environment shapes us. Benjamin Hardy’s Willpower doesn’t work insist on the necessity to modify our environment instead of relying on our mere willpower. Strengthen your decision-making system by restricting the scope of alternatives: if there are only nuts and raisins in your cupboard, you have less chance to treat you with crisps.
Environment is not limited to the landscape but includes the characters as well. Choose some “accountability buddy”: have your relatives aware of your decision. Use emotional bonds to serve your new habits.
Reward with pleasure, self-esteem and peer recognition will anchor even more deeply your new habits. By sharing not only progress, but difficulties and tips as well, you will switch from a ‘go / no go’ mindset to a ‘step-by-step’ mindset. This is exactly the success factor of ‘anonymous alcoholics’: share your decision with others, celebrate your results with friends on your social network. Turn addiction to your benefit; use it to serve your own ambition.
In summary:
Instead of listing what you will do this year, list what you will not do this year. Moreover, commit truly not to do them.
1- Say no to big goals, to “out-of-reach resolutions”, take instead simple decisions.
2- Create a supportive environment that rewards your choice on a daily basis:
— limiting your options by a default decision-making system,
— measuring your daily commitment,
— celebrating crossing threshold of progress.
I am more than happy to serve your success with 30 years of experience on my own transformation journey, inspired by daily reading, thinking and writing. If this article has been helpful, feel free to follow me and to increase its audience with your claps. Thanks!
